Grisel Estevez

Haunted Thoughts

My Name Means Grey
Watercolor on cotton paper
16” x 20”
2020
Touch Starved
Watercolor on cotton paper
16” x 20”
2020

But the Earth Did Swallow Him
Watercolor on cotton paper
16” x 20”
2020
What if My Thoughts Were Left Unfinished?
Watercolor on cotton paper
16” x 20”
2020

Artist Statement

My works consist of thoughts and ideas while in isolation. The pieces are mostly done with water soluble graphite pencil and watercolors on 100%cotton  watercolor paper. I used light washes of watercolor, mostly purple and blue hues. My work focuses on the anxieties and losses due to the pandemic’s toll on my community.

I’ve never been one to paint my feelings. Art has always been an escape for me. All my art reflected a subconscious part of me, but never actually was about me. But what happens when every aspect of my life has been afflicted, more than ever before? My own escapism was no longer sufficient. At every corner, my isolation became a brewing spot for my anxiety to flourish in the worst way possible.

As my worries grew, and everything became a nerve-wrecking battle within my own mind, my own art could not go on as it had previously done so before. For once, I sought to explore my worries. I wanted to paint loss. I wanted to paint longing and helplessness. Things I wouldn’t normally want to paint, because I disliked the thought of associating my art with something negative. But, I realize, it doesn’t have to be that way.  My pieces were originally going to be completely greystacled, but I decided color would help me convey what my feelings are. There is no beauty in suffering, but there is relief in releasing some intrusive thoughts that continue to clog my mind.

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